Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
