i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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