I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
