peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Say something about gay babies.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
