I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
