North Korea, Best Korea!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
