someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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