Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
