dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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