Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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