CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
