Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Your tits are I can't wait for
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
