trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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