that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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