Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
