You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
