I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
