so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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