I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
