I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you would pick up someone in the library
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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