My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
