Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
