I wannas sexs uuuuu
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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