I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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