I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
