do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
