My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
