I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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