Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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