we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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