everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
