didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize