He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
