Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
