I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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