Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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