I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
