I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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