You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
