"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
