so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
