he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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