My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
