Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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