His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
