Nicole vs. Life
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize