he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it glows. i had to have it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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