i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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