just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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