Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
