if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
