i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
