so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
