walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
