i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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