dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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