I'm jealous of your bromance
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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