this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
