Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
