Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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