i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
