She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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