Can i not drive my cunt home
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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