whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
